Change
by Magic Words
Summary: Asami tries to adjust to life on Air Temple Island. implied Masami.


Despite Korra's best efforts to ensure her comfort, Asami has a hard time adjusting to life on Air Temple Island. It's not the poverty she'd initially feared, but any amount of simplicity is foreign to her and she's unsure of herself. She's never had to lift a finger in her life, and suddenly she's expected to earn her keep. Mako and Bolin have jumped right in, even remarking that these chores are easier than what they're used to. There is no heavy lifting on Air Temple Island. The hardest thing she's seen anyone do is fill the fruit cages for the lemurs and sweep the steps of the temple. Then again, she hasn't been to the bison's stables yet. Mako usually spends his time there, but not once has he complained. Asami has learned that Mako is not a complainer.

It's another reason she's added to her list of why she likes Mako so much.

Bolin is younger and has less chores, but they're more manual labor-oriented because he's stronger than Mako is. He finishes early and has time to play with the airbender children and they absolutely love him. Bolin and Korra have made a game in which they blast the children upward with a column of earth and take turns trying to see how high they can get. Ikki and Meelo are the most willing participants. Meelo, being lighter, most often gets launched higher. Jinora prefers to watch or read. She's nearly eleven, she told Asami recently, and she has no business meddling with children.

Pema has kept her busy in the kitchen, teaching her how to cook. It's boring, excruciating to stand in front of an oven and not move. Asami wonders how Pema handles it on top of being pregnant. Standing in front of boiling water has given her time to think on her new surroundings, and it provides peace from the children and the more grueling chores. She knows that's why Pema has taken her into the kitchen, so she doesn't have to jump into hard labor. She should be grateful, but she's bored. Asami wonders if Pema knows she singlehandedly electrocuted her own father and disabled an Equalist.

Asami has discovered that it's the serenity of the island that bothers her. The air acolytes have no business showing off, partly because it's against their ways and partly because only Tenzin's family can actually airbend. In the city, benders from all over fight or show off in the streets. It's a spectator sport to watch benders go head to head and show off. It's the difference in the dynamic between the island and the city that unsettles her. Everything is slow here, lost in time, ancient. She's used to speed and the rush of a city.

"You don't like it here." Korra stands in the threshold of the kitchen. She leans like a boy with her arms crossed and her head resting against the wood. Asami looks over her shoulder and shrugs, and then continues to stir the noodles in front of her.

"It's beautiful," she answers simply, and it's the truth. It's beautiful. A wild beauty she's not used to.

"But it's not home, right?" Korra asked. Asami detects a hint of empathy in Korra's tone and she pauses to look at her in earnest. For the first time she sees Korra the way she is, with her blue parka and furs framing her mocha skin like a halo. This isn't home to her either.

"It's not home." She tries to smile and Korra's mouth lifts slightly at the corner, sort of how Mako's does when he acknowledges something someone says. "Dinner will be ready soon," Asami says after a beat of silence.

"I'll go get the kids and the boys, then," Korra assents, and turns lazily to push herself off the wall. Her boots fall quietly on the floorboards as she leaves and Asami is left again with the sound of bubbling noodles and questions pounding in her head.

Dinner is quiet and awkward. The calm is something welcome to Tenzin, but he can sense the tension between the teenagers, especially Korra and Mako. They sit next to each other, a corner separating them. Asami sits to Mako's right, then Bolin, and the children share a side of the table with Korra. Pema forces conversation and Bolin perpetuates it, entertaining the younger children with stories about Pabu, who isn't allowed at the dinner table. Asami is still trying to get used to sitting on the floor and eating simpler food. It's not filling and leaves her with an aching hunger for more than rich city food. Mako keeps his noodles warm surreptitiously, even though there's a strict no bending rule at meals. Korra notices the extra steam coming from his bowl but says nothing. He glances up and a beat of silence ensues where their eyes remain locked on each other. They share a silent smirk, but Mako looks down when Tenzin voices his appreciation of the meal.

"Will you be joining us for meditation tomorrow?" Tenzin asks the three new arrivals, and Korra glances between their heads. Ikki expresses her excitement but Bolin declines, saying he'd like to look at the stables and that "sitting still really isn't my thing". Mako stares thoughtfully at his noodles and eventually looks up, accepting the offer. Asami, who's never meditated before, shyly accepts at Mako's prodding. He smiles at her and she returns it with a small quirk of her painted lips. Korra scowls into her dinner, but only Tenzin notices. When Korra looks up, Tenzin clears any expression of recognition.

Asami doesn't like how dishwater dries her hands out. She smells like noodles and ginger, and she can feel the grime as her hands slip further into the water. She was born a socialite, though, so she's good at controlling her face. She retains an expression of neutrality, washing dishes until Pema declares the dishes done. Asami smiles at her, bids her goodnight, and leaves.

She wants the night to swallow her before the silence does. As she looks over the bay to the city lights she wants nothing more than to hear the sound of a Satomobile racing past her, to feel insistent wind rip through her hair. She wants to get off this island and find her father, to beg him to stop this so she can continue living life normally.

She tries her hardest to blame Korra but she finds that she can't. Korra is the Avatar. As a nonbender, it's hard to understand the worship. She recalls Mako talking about her, scowls at the reverence in his voice. He's never seen better bending. She's a master, a genius. People look up to her. They build statues in her past lives' honor. She's a saint to the benders, so Asami feels detached from her. _Who is my saint, _she asks herself, _but a madman in a mask? What has he done for me but tear my family apart?_ Asami tries to hate Korra but she's beautiful and kind, and smart, and even though Asami's father wants to end her and her best friends, she harbors no ill will toward Asami, and Asami feels awful. Instead, she blames these thoughts on the silent island. With no noise to fill her head she compensates, makes her own sounds. Her thoughts thunder around her in a tempest. She blames Amon and the firebender who killed her mother. She blames herself for being selfish.

_I said I can take care of myself. I need to mean it._


End file.
